Restlessness=Sleeplessness

I always end up not sleeping on the days I feel I haven't worked hard enough. I wonder am I an exception to this restlessness. At times I feel like I am caught in a time zone of stillness. A time, where it is too late to go back and too early to move forward. It's not even a cross-roads, because there are no decisions to be made, just an unexplained stillness.

As I look out the window at this unearthly hour, I see the tree outside my window, the one that has to bear with my smoke rings and my still thoughts. It has to bear with all the unspoken questions in my head, where do I go from here tomorrow?Why do I feel this utter restlessness and why can't I pick up the phone and annoy a grumbling friend?Unfortunately, the tree nor I have the answers today. Too bad.

I wonder what it takes to quench the restlessness of an uneasy soul. Could a gratifying job, loads of money, an enormous friend circle, a revolutionary cause be the answer? Who knows? I definitely don't.

I only know that on days I've burnt myself out physically and mentally can I get a charming sleep. Hmm...time to work harder I guess....

God can you give me a million pounds...I need to open a disc/bar/cafe/gym that is open for the sleepless and restless :)

Cheers

The eeriness of Stuttgart

I have lived in Stuttgart for almost 2 years now..so technically I'm no longer a Delhite and more likely a Stuttgartner. Although there are still a few things that disturb me about the city, I call home. Today as I walked out of the train station, I saw a female with her head ducked inside her hands, it was so evident that she was sobbing that even the deaf or the blind would melt in pity. As I came out of the train, with more than 50 people, stepping out on the platform at the same time,I noticed, not one person stopped to ask her what was bothering her or why she felt the need to sob in public. Initially neither did I. Then I thought and re-collected all the experiences I've heard from all foreigners and residents here, how sometime or the other they have broken down, not to be heard or seen by anyone.

May be it was just the day or it was the empathy I carried back from London or the Indian in me, to stop and ask. There wasn't anything I could do for her but ask if she needed to talk. The episode struck such a stinging reality about Stuttgart. No one cares here. It's tough to find out why but people don't like to see or hear things here. Why is everyone so quiet or sad...days on the train could be like people are going for a funeral. Some people even carry blood-shot eyes and no it's not because they are doped but because they are depressed.

If everyone here is as lonely as they say they are or feel that there is no one to celebrate with...then why is there no empathy or humanness? Why is a developed nation, the city which has the third lowest crime rate, no cut-throat competition and no starvation..be so cold and dark?Why do people here "NOT CARE"....? Why does it lack human emotion or character...

May be I am too new here to understand and may be I will never understand or belong here...but I never want to belong to a place so inhuman or cold...

Flying in the sky in 2011....

Each year it gives me great pleasure to talk about my new levels of madness, useless distress and adventures and the people that I meet and leave behind....

This year has been no different...some of the highlights of this year were:-
1.My tandem jump...being a bird is what I've always wished for...and I could be a bird for those 3-4 minutes...if only I could grow wings now...I'd do that all my life...fly in the skies..sigh...
2.My trip to Rome especially while reading an animated book which described the life that was...my silly imagination making me travel through those times and those make-believe characters...I love Italy...the culture..the people...the tourists..the red wine and food...fabulous...next life : Have to be an Italian!!
3.Sissy and me in Paris...we grew up watching and reading about "Love and romance" in Paris....ok so nothing really happened there...but drinking by the Seine and talking about the unpredictabilities in life was the best I could do with her this year...our Amsterdam trip and the stuff we did...every day is precious with her...so it's definitely a highlight
4.Budapest...one crazy legendary trip...it's almost always fun to meet a friend who is crazier than you...the crazy night-out and sleepless nights...playing and losing word building...def. special ;)
5.Playing frisbee with my brother in Stuttgart...don't know why but  it's something that sticks out in my memory...going to Salzburg with him...doing naughty stuff and deciding to bond over petty secrets...shhh...so much fun with someone 16 years younger to you..!
6.Meeting a lot of new people in India, in Germany and around the world...all this year...through German courses, internet, work, crazy and random drinking sessions with friends and strangers....
7.Trip to Scotland...the drive to loch Lochmond and the sights there were breath-taking...learning what type of Whiskey you are...pretty exotic I'd say...so I'm a highland and I know it!
8.London is not Brit anymore...some parts are so Indian...you'd be scratching your head and rubbing your eyes..wondering where you really are..but all in all people in London have a lot to smile and laugh about...it has a contagious cheer to it....
9.Falling in love with autumn...something happened to me this autumn..I fell in love all over again and I painted...developed a new style of painting....feather in my cap :)
10.Winter never came! An acquaintance from Italy wished me sun and said he wishes I have only sunshine and no winter this year...and guess what...I've had no winter so far...no snow...no cold...nothing...Oh boy!!Ok I do wish for snow now....I need to paint some winter...the autumn has got to go....
11.Learning and speaking the snob language: GERMAN! Yes, I can now converse in German and it is the BIGGEST achievement of this year.
12.Being in a country for 1.5 years, not speaking the language and not having a single friend or family member...leaving everything for love and coming to a strangely cold land...to signing 4 contracts with 4 companies, speaking the language,having an Oma and friends...all in one years time..trust me I'm a fighter and a winner to me \m/ !!

What I learnt most importantly this year is that it is ok to have no control in your life and no plans...it's true when they say "Man proposes and God disposes"....I am a true believer in God, love, family, friends, religion,miracles, fairy tales and good things...at the start of the year..I'd wanted nothing more than to squirm in to the Delhi soils...hide under my family quilts till someone could come and make everything alright...in the end...it was "ME".....

This year...I have no plans except to beat every crazy record I have set for myself ;)

Cheers to individualism! Happy new year everyone!!

Oh No William....(:0)!

While growing up I saw this cartoon movie on Star movies, it was shown every Valentine's day..it was a story about two friends being in love with the same woman, cliched I know, the one with the looks ends up marrying her, the other one helps his friend life long writing ballads and poems for the same girl that he is in love with. After years the woman discovers that she has been in love with the same man but has experienced the grief of his death twice, once when her husband dies and the second time when her true lover dies.

Well, I somehow remember this story because of the concept of deep deception it stirred in my mind. I thought it to be so unfathomable and tragic. After seeing the movie Anonymous, I was left with the same feeling all over again. I felt so cheated and dismayed. I am one of those losers who has almost always fallen in for every word of William Shakespeare. I have read most of his poems, read them aloud to my lovers and just been in love with the man for years. The plot of the movie is just not about the name but also the person behind the writings. It disturbs me so much to think, that actually, it could have been a Lord created out of incest, who wrote those ballads for his mother, who was his lover too...now now...that put the theories of Freud in to place too. Really was Freud's spirit also looming in the background of the Kingdom in Oxford.

Who knows what the reality is but I so wish I could be transported in to the chambers of Elizabeth's Kingdom. And I promise if I stepped in to the chambers, then I would steal Shakespeare or Lord Edward from her each time..

I think that all the prints of the movie should be burnt down, no one needs to ever find out that the man that they were in love with never existed or was just an impostor or a figment of someone else's imagination. It's just another one of my love stories gone so disastrously wrong!

For those who read this today, two minutes of silence ;)

 

Kiss-a Diet

So...like all fools in the world, I got trapped in to the kiss-a of a Diet, thanks to my one and only beloved sister. You see, she knows, I don't listen to most fools on the planet, except may be her( YES, I'm calling her a fool here too). Don't ask me how I got trapped. And just to let you know, I am NOT fat or OVER-THE-HILL. I regularly exercise and look damn NEAT! (I can be narcissistic, but if you know me, then you'll have to bear with that!)

So I want to tell you about how the story unfolds:-

Day 1: I was suppose to have only fruits, especially melons the first day of this great diet. F**k getting a melon, having fruits "on the go" was itself difficult enough(especially since I'm always on the move).This is what I remember of the first day ,since I almost fainted in to bed with the lack of salt in my body : choking and spitting on someone in a moving train,getting cramps( due to the lack of salt in my body) and stamping on peoples foot, almost falling off the bike in the gym and being a laughing stock! But I was determined to make it to the second day!!

Day 2: Yes this was the day the cramps were cured and I saw a little light in my life thanks to the salad and vegetable but suddenly the darkness unfolded as I felt a dip in my blood pressure, thanks to the lack of sugar in my body this time.( I was to be only on veggies u see). I was a MAD B***H to say the least, yeah screaming on my hubby and kicking around my clothes till I finally hit the wall and fell a sleep!! I was STILL determined to go on to a third day!!

Day 3: Well honestly, this was one of the easier days since it was a mix of vegetables and fruits. The only problem was that when I looked in to the mirror in the morning I looked like I was going to DIE!!(The lack of cereal in my body does that to me!) Well needless to say, I covered up with my fantastic make-up but as the day wore off, so did the make-up, and then arose...a ghost...creepy looking, sallow skinned...right in to my mirror!! I was STILL N I MEAN STILL determined to make it to the fourth day!!

Day 4: Today my friends happens to be my fourth day. I was suppose to be on Milk and bananas today. I had both school and work and trust me, I didn't get bananas or Milk on my way or in these places. I acted like a B**CH throughout the day. Yes, I wanted to SLAP everyone I came across today. I also felt a shiver in my nerves today ( Which WOKE me up). WOKE me up to F**K the diet!!!!!!!!!!

For all those who read this today. If you are dieting, I THINK U R A FOOL!! I haven't lost a kilo people after killing myself...my MBR MUST have fallen...all I've lost is my MIND. What I also realize is that..when I eat proper..I think better, look better and behave better...and these are the most important things to me. SO PEOPLE DO NOT EVER DIET!!

(P.S.: For all those who were the bearers of my bad mood, kindly excuse me, I'm drinking wine tonight and turning normal ;-))

Beer Vs Wine : A Bottling perspective!!!!!

Every time I see that can of Beer or that Beer bottle, I can't help but find it sooooooo cool. It's so great when the whole Entourage team gets together after a blast from the past and holds on to those bottles while making a toast. So coool!! I think the love for Beer has more to do with how it is marketed in those green or brown bottles followed by those oh so desirable cans. Ever wondered why wine didn't follow pursuit?

Imagine a sweaty Vin Diesel coming after his victory in one of those fancy fast and the furious races and fetching a bottle of wine and two wine glasses.......crunchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....!! Death of his career and fan following. What is it with bad boys and girls always posing with the Beer man!! Why does it tempt me so much and why does it just seem way cooooler than a wine?????

I think it has to do with the bottling!!!! I know wine has its 11-15% alcohol content and I don't know how it would be possible for the manufacturers to bottle it in to a Beer bottle.But they do have Breezers now...which are cold drinks really so why not just have wine with some mixed elements(I really don't know what)???? Just a thought. I think it would be rather interesting. Wine is always considered the drink of the classy, snoots and frankly speaking the tight assed. (Although I myself have acquired a taste for it to avoid the beer belly...) I would find it so much cooler to drink from a can or bottles like the handsome Coronas/Becks/Tuborgs or the Kingfishers.......

I find it rather annoying that men should have all the fun with Beer in its Oh-SO hot bottling and cans while the ladies should sip in their Oh-so prim glasses. Frankly speaking from a guy's or a girl's perspective, we would probably start a conversation with a Beer chick than a Wine chick??

Why do we have the term "Beer buddies"...have you ever heard "Wine buddies"."Beer buddies" just symbolizes a generation of easy going people with the messed up hair, jeans and a loose Teee.........Ugggghhhh...if only the Beer didn't give us the belly and if only the stupid wines were advertised for the normal, the hippies and the bohemians....I'm so in a nomads land today..drinking the wine and desiring the Beer....!!Uuuuffff!!

5 WTF Moment in a day's work!!

After a lifetime stroke of being passive (which by a personality typ, I don't really fit in to, and have been for the past 2-3 months), I really felt a gush of MADNESS, which I FINALLY couldn't contain!! It's amazing how a good argument or a kick ass fight can really rev me up and bring me to myself.

1. The first WTF moment case came as an argument about whether people should live without a registered marriage or not. To be honest, its such a bullshit topic and frankly speaking I don't care a damn about what people do with their lives but since I was bound to talk and that too in German, I must tell you that a lot of unmarried people had to say that married couples lose their freedom, their right to work and right to choose who and on what they want to spend their time on.!!WTF
(Case in Example to clarify: THE INDIAN WOMEN!! Come on man I feel like I live in a F**king village, I want to go back to NEW DELHI NOW and may be FOREVER!!)

2. Second WTF moment, I was told by my 3 adorable dorfy teachers that 'Women in Germany earn lesser than men" ...SERIOUSLY WTF!!
(Case to clarify: Thank God I'm a little literate so I threw their facts at them: Angela Merkel is their vice chancellor, they have 7 out of 10 women who work here and after the world war, the whole of Germany was re-constructed by the GERMAN WOMEN...come on man...WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE IFA!!)

3. Third WTF moment, Darling Vodafone couldn't keep up their 7th appointment with us. OFCOURCE they couldn't, their lazy asses must have been tied around behind the little pug that they advertise...MAN WTF!

4.Beautiful WTF moment..the company that I had a class with today couldn't really have a class today why because they didn't have enough rooms, chairs and tables...2 grown up men, the size of a dinosaur had that for an excuse...really WTF!!

5.The FINAL WTF moment...a darling of a friend fighting with me over fidelity issues...when both of us don't really give a damn about it....SO WTF!!

After that I just had to go to the gym...had no option left...had to vent out all the steam on the poor cardio machines but it was so worth it coz I can look back at a wonderful and memorable WTF day!! Please do share in your inputs on the same. Would love to hear anything....