Friday, March 16, 2012

Daddy long legs

Honestly I never quite understood the meaning of the saying but since this entry is going to be dedicated to a father-daughter just sounded very fancy. All through my life, I always felt, the only relationship that defined me was my rebellious spirit against all that my father believed in. It could have been his religious inclination, it could have been his overly protective nature, it could have been his fear : of my overly ambitious spirit against the real- world. The real world that would only always try to get me down at everything I believe in, my free spirit and my unconventional thinking.

Today as I sit here, hitting a 30 in a few months and he sits there, retired and trying to enjoy the life that he built around him, I seek him. I don't seek his approval, I seek guidance against three difficult choices that I face today.

Choice no. 1 : Quit my struggle in a foreign country and embrace the opportunities back home.
Choice no. 2: Try as hard as my spirit and little life try and fit in this foreign land.
Choice no. 3: F**k 'em all and concentrate on what I was born with, my little artistic and writing talent irrespective of the competition that lies there.

Choice no. 3 just by the way was added today. Dad told me that everyone is born with a unique talent or quality, something that they never get to work on unless life leaves them no option. He said according to him, I had something I was born with, that I've just ignored or taken for granted and called as a hobby and may be I should explore what lies for me there.

Would it work? Who knows...?? I only know that today in a day and time and age, where people still talk about stupid things like gender equality. Here is a man, who has lived his whole life of 60 years trying to correct my ways. Here is me, all of 30, trying to fight him only to seek a concurrence now. At this stage in life, it is difficult to stay, what is right and what is wrong. I have only mere chances of survival given my soaring ambitions and almost dying spirit.

I can only make peace with a simple fact that I may not have been daddy's little girl but I certainly have to be daddy long legs in terms of my flight ( Yes, I did google the meaning!)

With that thought and the weekend on it's way...


Friday, March 9, 2012

Inverse proportions

Did it ever happen to you that you thought about inverse proportions in your relationships? I know, it's after holi and most of you are probably down and under with your hangovers but just a quick thought. Inverse proportions, for those of you, who are not mathematically equipped means, a little of something leading to a domino of something else.

It just struck me right know, this always has played a very important part in my life, the cheaper( in terms of brain value and in addition to my life) the company, the more I've had to compensate it by going to expensive places but the more rich the company, the cheaper places I'd like to go to. Hmm...what this that in my life there have been a lot of people, the ones who carried little value in my life, I had to go out with them to the bigger discs, the bigger restaurants , the drive in the biggest cars and so forth, simply  because I didn't think that they would add value to my life, so loud music and the big show would make it easier for me to bear them. On the other hand, the people who really mattered to me, I've entertained them at the cheapest bars may be even a street lane. I've had the best conversations in gardens, near the CRPF dhaba, or the by-lanes of Delhi or even Stuttgart today. Sometimes I've even entertained people on the train stations in Germany or in a comfortable ride on a train or auto or even in a bus ( which I'm unpopularity known not to take in India!)

My sisters or my best friends have led me in the most difficult times in funny places, rich by experience but cheap at cost. Hmm...I won't say that that makes me low maintenance but if at all very rich in experience. I just realized that the best experiences in life have not cost me a dime but "the-not-so-great" ones have cost me a fortune!

So, if you are a really good friend of mine, please don't splurge on me. No point. Chances are that me or someone great out there is just looking for some simple company and not your money. Inverse proportions on cost-benefit analysis!

I just had a great evening in my apartment and it cost me next to nothing, just some great music and great company. At that thought, think really hard as to what makes you really happy, "the show" or just some good company with may be a nice whiskey, great music and a great companion :)