Friday, March 29, 2013

Life with a 'delete' button

Do you ever wake up in the morning with this feeling of deleting parts of your life or some of the people that you knew in some parts of your life. The feeling of deletion is so negative and yet so relieving. I woke up with this feeling today morning and struggled with this thought over my morning coffee. I wondered why I often felt the urge to delete and shun people from my life.

My life as I know it and some people close to me know it is very transitional. I look different each year, I dress differently and walk around with different people. Since my life is so transitional, it's but natural for people in my life to fade away from time to time. What is not natural is that I choose to cut out some people from my life. I am a very people's person and so what causes me to take such nasty steps.

By the time I had my second cup of coffee, things started to become clearer. There are some people, no wait a lot of people in my life, who have made me feel very very alone. They left me alone to deal with my own emotions. They have abandoned me in my times of crisis. They have forgotten that I am human. They have burdened me with their miseries and I've carried their miseries in my heart and on my shoulders. I've tried my best to understand, analyze and find a solution to their miseries only to be complimented by them going back to their miseries. I've never had too many expectations from people except that they take care of themselves and sometimes just sometimes hear me out.I am very thankful to these people because they didn't hear me out. They didn't take the time to know me or my life and they stayed in their miserable lives when my world shattered, broke and then resurrected. They were too busy and now they don't belong in my life! I hate desertion but it seems to be like a flu these days and I've learnt it only too well. And so I press the 'delete' button.

I also have another theory to counter the 'delete theory'. When one dull window in my life shuts down, I paint a 100 doors to make it more comfortable for others to find me. I've been taught by a lot of my 'so-called' friends to be alone and guess what, I'm leaving them all alone now :)

Cheers to the new light I'll bring in to my life today by hitting the delete button.