Angels in the rain

As I walked home alone again tonight..I made a very crucial decision and this has not been an easy one for me today...while all the people sleep in my country..I made this decision..I don't want to walk these streets alone tonight or forever..I deserve like the rest of the people in the world today..to be taken care of...

I don't care if it takes walking out on a marriage or a relationship..no one in the world needs to be so alone so much so as to hear their on feet tap against the rough pavement and walk in the cold and unkind rain of Stuttgart alone...I think it sucks..

There won't be an angel to wake you up in the train forever..there won't be people always around to disrupt the noises in your head to make you realize that what you needed from life has to be more than a fake marriage or love...there has to be more to life than pieces of paper and virtual reality...

Yes, as I walked alone listening to the rain and my own footsteps on the rough pavement..I decided..I'm going to leave behind the society and it's bullshit philosophies to make something work..that is not real anymore...I care more about myself now than I did when I was 16..no one deserves love more than me right now..because I didn't do anything wrong except to believe in something that has completely failed me or gone wrong..I cannot live in this life full of bullshit...

I deserve to be happy..and I deserve to be taken care of..and I will never hear only my footsteps in the cold October rain again..that is a promise I make to myself...I will not wait for angels to wake me up..when I know I can have some of my own without even asking for them...

I will not wait for life to happen to me because I will happen to life from now on...that is a promise to myself..

Guns and roses already wrote a song on my experience:

"And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain"

And guess what..No rain in my life will last forever..because I hate rains..so happy Friday evening to people who are still warming up to it...