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Saturday, January 14, 2012

10 Most boring questions of the century!

Ok so am full-on talli right now...but this was based on a real survey carried out through a bunch of friends and my personal experience...so here goes...people pls. point out the mistakes in the morning if any and I'll mend it in the morning...

Q1. "How are you doing?"/"Are you alright?"
A1. Definitely what I generally think and I know a bunch of you..."Yes F***er, I am fine"...if I'm in a group..don't you see..I got a bunch of people with me right here, right now..."No, I'm not"..if I'm having that last ciggi or the last drink in my hand all alone....
General advice: If you really care, give me a hug now, everything will be fine! If I'm with the bunch of people, someone will get punched real hard tonight...oooops!!

Q2. "So...you from India...you have the caste system..."/ "So..you from Russia...you drink a lot of Vodka..."/" So..you from Brazil..you speak Spanish/visit the carnival every year...?"
A2. "So....you probably ARE uneducated and have never ever worked in a cooperate environment..because if you DID...you would be talking about our economy and looking beyond the stereotype"
General advice: Stay off the stereotype..get balls or whatever....talk about something else, you have lost our interest already..really..so "Buzz off"

Q3. "Do you think I look fat?"
A3. If I say "Yes"...you'd hate me...if I say "No"...you think I am liar!
General advice: Don't ask me/us..look in to the mirror...if possible give me a manual to tell you the truth...!!

Q4." Do you love me?"
A4. Tricky question...if I did love you...I would say it without you asking me...if I haven't said it..."Dude, I'm really not that in to you, so take a hike!"
General advice: A good question to irritate the shit out of someone...do ask them if you want to annoy them and want them to take a hike...otherwise..don't ask them...please do us a favor like "World peace!"

Q5." Why haven't you added me on Facebook?"
A5. Well...."Mostly because I don't want you stalking me and getting too personal"....could be " I don't like you enough for you to see how awesome I really am!"
General advice: Take the hint or again take a hike!

Q6. "So...where is you husband?"
A6. Hmm...."We weren't born twins and I'm not good with ESP..so I don't know...but most importantly...why do you want to know...you like him too?"
General advice: Marriage can also be a freedom of expression...some people choose it regardless!

Q7. "Has being married changed your life?"
A7." SURE it has...don't you see the horns on my head and the tail that follows me...you must try it too..FUN!"
General advice: Keep away from stupid questions..makes you look weird and DUMB!

Q8."What's new?"
A8." If there was something new, would I be sitting here with you?"
General advice: If you can, tell me what's new with you otherwise take a seat next to the bartender!

Q9."How is the weather?"
A9."Really now....we have nothing in common do we...????So why are you still in my face!!!!"
General advice: Try this with some really really dumb and boring people, you want to get rid off!!

Q10. "What are the most boring questions you ever came across in your little life?"
A10." Exactly the one that you asked me!"
General advice: Unless you are as cute as me..don't even try to ask them!

SO....thanks guys for the eventful TGIF....I am proud to present to the world...what exactly they shouldn't be asking people and boring them with....

For the rest of you who read this...please don't ask me the above questions and bore the s**t out of me and the rest of the world!

6 comments:

  1. adviCe*. Advise is a verb. Don't blame the alcohol.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're getting way too cocky. Get some more perspective and come back down to earth. Case in point - if you meet someone from (say) Madagascar, I'm sure your first thought will be that movie (I forget the name).

    And most of these are generic conversation starters, you don't have to give attitude about it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous 2 : The name of the movie is Madagascar and compliment accepted. I assume you ask these boring questions all the time, chances are you bore the SH*T out of most of your friends, relatives and people around...this blog is a favor to you and the rest of the world!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous 1: Thank you, correction made! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Who the fuck is this anonymous? i wish we could get his/ her face off the planet. Oh! I forgot...loser is anonymous cant do that either.

    Good Blog sis, dont let a bunch of losers piss u off, they dont have the talent to write so they correct spellings..like a general stenographer in an office..they to need to feel important..

    Keep writing and rocking.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Who do you think this is anyway? You really attack people like this in real life? Seriously, get off your damn high horse, you little geek.

    Shaivi - you really need to come to her aid? Like she needs it and like you can do anything? Stay outa this.

    ReplyDelete